The Romper

I have been excited by rompers ever since I saw my first one in the window of Urban Outfitters. If Urban had to describe their brand aesthetic, I’m pretty sure it would be something like: clothing for those who enjoy romping in meadows in the 70’s and/or 80’s. So it makes sense that they have a wide selection of rompers.

I have always wanted to try this trend. The romper is adorable: I can look cute in my floral romper while window-shopping for more rompers. The romper is convenient, like shorts: I can sit on the ground with my legs splayed open like a homely buffoon without exposing my underpants. Perfect!

Being frugal, I decided to drop by Plato’s Closet to justify the purchase of more, unneeded, clothing. Plato’s Closet is where shopaholics sell their clothes so that they can afford rent at the end of each month. They back gently-used, trendy clothes and sells them at awesomely-discounted rates. This is where I come in.

I found an adorable (floral!) romper for six dollars. Yes! I remembered that I was taking a road trip the next day. I was so proud of myself at this point: I am so responsible and prepared, I even have clothes picked out for this adventure! A romper will be comfortable and breathable. The perfect outfit for a long drive. WRONG.

I was an hour into my six-hour road-trip to Canada when I realized that I had to pee. I happily pulled into a Starbucks and proceeded to the restroom where I discovered my terrible error.

For those of you who have never worn a romper before, let it be known that if you make the ill-fated decision to wear one, you will have to get completely naked every time you use the restroom. If you are someone who has anxiety about being walked in on in restrooms, this is not a particularly exciting prospect.

I’m not sure who was more uncomfortable: me (naked in a Starbucks far from home) or the lady waiting outside (who had to listen to someone cackle nervously/maniacally in the ladies’ restroom). I got to re-create this scenario 2 more times during my road-trip.

Lesson: rompers + fluids + strange bathrooms –> awkward

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Filed under Humor, Short Stories

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