This is the life the worst kind of person is living:
You often pretend to enjoy things you don’t care much about. You amass material possessions that please you for a while, then get boring, and then are replaced with other material possessions that you subsequently stop caring about.
You are guarded around your friends and partner and only show them small parts of who you are. You befriend only people who make you feel comfortable or who boost your social status. You surround yourself with people who suck the life out of you. You are terrified of showing anyone who you really are, so you don’t. You give no one the opportunity to criticize you and no one the opportunity to love you.
You don’t try new things because you are afraid of being bad at anything.
You don’t speak up when you want to say something and spend a lot of your time self-censoring yourself. When you encounter the sacred space between yourself and another person, you think only of yourself: how you are coming across, how you should present yourself, what he/she is thinking of you.
You dress for other people and not for yourself. You find no joy in what you wear or look like because it’s not even a representation of who you are. Your appearance is a representation of the people you want to please.
You have a lavish wedding, but your marriage is devoid of joy and pleasure.
You spend years in school to get a job you don’t value or love or enjoy, but that will impress other people. When you realize you’re not content with a path you have invested in, you plod on letting other people (or former selves) make your decisions for you.
When you come up against “negative” circumstances, you sweep your feelings aside and lash out. You are not introspective because you’re afraid of what you will find. You criticize and hate people who are open, loving, happy, or expressive.
You spend your entire life waiting to complete the next step so you can finally be “happy.”
Here’s how this story ends:
You get to the end of your life and know that no one knew you authentically. You lived a life of fear. And you have left in your wake an endless list of opportunities not taken, friendships not forged, children not appreciated, experiences not enjoyed, ideas not entertained, joy not experienced.
Do. not. be. this. person.